Day Two: Adjusting to the harsh truth which has been presented to me. Trying to do the right things, trying to do all that I can. I'm trying to set my priorities in order but I think the result is only pushing people away, making people hate me. I'm sorry. No this isn't convenient for anyone. I'm trying. How much sacrifice would make you happy? I can never give as much as you will, my friend. I'm sorry you get the raw end of this deal.

I fucked up. I made a mistake. What was I thinking? Was I? This is learning the lesson the hard way.

I want to be there.

All about:
Old friends who know when to give you shit, never being the same again, and treading water to stay afloat.

Wow. Just when I thought this year couldn't get anymore complicated another crisis is presented. I swear, if I didn't have troubles and complications I'd be so bored. (But for crying out loud, Karma Police, haven't I paid my dues this year!) Tough waters ahead, captain, should I batton down the hatches? The hatches are already shut tight, seaman, we just have to wait it out.

I hope and pray for the right words to say, the words that truly represent how I feel.
I don't really know how to deal with this new situation. Compassion and responsibility. Acceptance.
I just know I need to be there.
Its a shame parents really don't understand. It'd be nice to have someone to always count on, but when the line is crossed...no one wants to be disowned. My mom said once, "I'll be okay, just as long as you don't tell me you like boys." Well how's this one hit you, lady?

I can't believe it yet.

All about:
Laughing to hide the tears, self-medication, and really heavy music that I don't know the words to and won't want to listen to six months down the road when this time has become associated with said music.

Ahh. Back from practice. My fingers are appropriately sore and my belly is appropriately hunger. I know I should sleep very soon for moring will be here before I expect it.
Rob didn't show up to practice tonite. I fear the worst but am hopeful for just a plain "I forgot." We'll see I guess.
Off to snack and sleep.

All about:
T-Rex, Patrick's new hat, and wide-white-canvas belts

Day 3 of the new semester. Days that begin at 7:30am are far too long. I have not yet begun to fight.